Things That Make You Smile

wellthatsadorable:

“Listen, I’m not going to bullshit you. I’m going to give it to you straight. I won’t beat around the bush, here. I’m not talking through my hat. I won’t pull your chain, I’m no chain puller. I wouldn’t blow smoke up your ass. I’m not going to piss on your leg and tell you it’s raining. If I buy the eggs, I’m making the cake. I won’t give you smoke and mirrors. I’m not joshing you. I won’t give you lip. I’m not talking jive.

You rub my belly, I’ll make you a star.”

(photo via blogalicious)